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by BleedingCoffee



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, FMA Rare pairs sweek 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:33:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingCoffee/pseuds/BleedingCoffee
Summary: An attempt to woo Catherine again ends in disaster as Breda shows he enjoys stripping as much as Alex.   Havoc finds sanity and comfort with another Armstrong instead.Submission for FMA Rare Pairs Week 2016





	

**Author's Note:**

> For FMA Rare Pairs Week 2016: Day 5 : Home
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

“This is why I never come home.”

 

Jean Havoc shook his head and took another drag on his cigarette before passing it over to Olivier Armstrong as she watched in disgust at the display inside the dining room.     They had both excused themselves from dinner in order to get away from the contest of muscles and insanity within the Armstrong residence.   The view from the back patio was not much better, but it gave it more of a performance feel instead of a horrifying reality.  “Does this shit happen all the time?”

 

“All the damned time.”  Olivier wasn’t a smoker, but sometimes she just needed to break down and give in to the need to take the edge off this spectacle known as her family.

 

Jean crossed his arms and watched as his best friend Heymans Breda, the genius that graduated at the top of their class at the academy, flexed and showed off his muscles for the delighted Catherine Elle Armstrong.   He had already torn off his shirt in some odd contest with Alex Armstrong and it rapidly deteriorated after that.   That was how his second date with Catherine had just gone: straight to hell, this time with a topless floor show.    This was supposed to be his attempt to salvage the first disastrous date with Catherine, not Heyman’s chance to wow the beauty.  

 

“I thought _you_ were here for a date with Catherine.”  Olivier asked and handed him back his cigarette.

 

“I was.”  Havoc said.   That was the plan.  He was here to take Catherine out and Breda was going to ask out one of the other Armstrong girls, then they were going to go to the carnival and flex their muscles on some stupid midway games to show off their assets.  A double date.   How could it go wrong?  Ha! “Plans sort of went to hell when your brother showed up.  I honestly don’t even know what provokes him to take off his clothes, but apparently it was  an opportunity not to be missed and Heymans went in for the kill.  He said something about tactics before I almost got an eye taken out by a button and I heard ripping cloth.”

 

“You’re not lacking in the muscle department.”  Olivier said.  “Why not take the opportunity to show off what you’ve got?”

 

Havoc sighed.  “I have standards. One of those is not taking my clothes off in front of a girl’s family to advertise my ‘amazing form!'”

 

Olivier smirked.  His imitation of her brother was spot on.   “Her loss.  If you want to provide me with a private showing, I’ll show you want muscles Armstrong women are good at flexing.”

 

Jean almost dropped his cigarette as she started to walk away.  “Are you suggesting…”

 

“Sex with me, tonight only.  Yes.”

 

“Holy shit.” He looked around for somewhere to put out his cigarette and just opted to put it in his drink.  “Yes?”

 

“I thought you were here for the courtship and….”  Olivier cringed as her brother bellowed about 'amazing form’.  “a girlfriend.”

 

“I’m told the only way to get that far with Armstrong women is to show off my assets first so…” Havoc watched her smile and wondered if this was a dream.  “Maybe I’ll win you over.”

 

_“Spectacular form Lieutenant!”_

 

_“Nice thong Major!”_

 

Olivier took a deep breath and was glad Havoc also saw the need to retreat to somewhere safer.  She lead him around the back of the house and into the kitchen where they took the back stairs to the second floor.  Maybe coming home did have it’s merits after all.


End file.
